Hidan's Lost Rosary
by OfFiCiAl.TwIlIgHtEr
Summary: Hidan's lost his rosary. Who has it? Where is it? Rated for BIG SUPRISE Hidan's language. Please R&R!
1. It's Gone

**A/**N: WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEE!!!!! See the wonders that come when I read fan fictions and stay up till 10:30 reading Eclipse (THANK YOU STEPHANIE MEYERS!!!), listen to weird/ random music, and then decide to write fan fictions about (everyone's favorite Akatsuki) Hidan!!!!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, the Akatsuki, or any of the characters in this. Unless I make one up.

**Hidan POV**

"KAKUZU! YOU BASTARD! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT MY ROSARY?!"

I was so pissed. Too pissed actually. The next person I met would be _very, very_ unlucky. Or maybe just dead…. Hopefully it would be Kakuzu.

I was running around the headquarters looking for my rosary- and whoever the now dead bastard was that had taken it- which had _mysteriously_ disappeared overnight. I knew Kakuzu had it because yesterday I had _borrowed_ some money ($50) and went shopping to buy myself some new tools of torture. And, as everyone knows, if you steal Kakuzu's money, you end up dead. Or, if you can't die (like me) you lose whatever is most precious to you. AKA: my rosary.

I saw a few Akatsuki cloaks running down hallways or into rooms as I passed, butt when I looked into them, they were always empty. And for some insane reason, this only pissed me off more.

By this time I had been in every room or hallway, except one. The kitchen. So I entered the large and spacious room.

There he was. The son of a bitch was just sitting there, drinking coffee, acting calm, like I wasn't about to chop his fucking head off if he didn't at least look at me.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO WITH MY ROSARY?!"

The son of a bitch _still_ wasn't paying any attention to me. That just drove me over the fucking edge. So I ran up and grabbed the collar of the god-damned cloak we were required to wear once we became "true" members. Now he only looked at me to glare and ask irritably, "What the hell are you bitching about this time, Hidan?"

What the hell is this guy's problem?! "I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU DID WITH MY ROSARY?! I KNOW YOU STOLE IT, YOU GOD-DAMNED SON OF A BITCH!"

He only kept on glaring at me. Then he said, in a voiced of badly disguised anger, "I don't know where the hell your fucking rosary is, Hidan. Ask Deidara. I think he took it. Now let go of my collar before I take your _hands_ off."

I immediately let go, but not because of the order. _What the hell would _Deidara _of all people want with my rosary?!_ Oh well. Only one thing to do now…

I stopped by the room I shared with Kakuzu only long enough to grab my scythe and then started off for the room Deidara shared with Sasori.

WWWWWHHEEEEEEEEEE!!!! Wow. That was oddly fun and boring at the same time.

PLEASE R&R!!! I don't care if you think it was awful, and saying that will help me make it better. PLEASE!!! Reviews help my concentration and interest in this.

_Hidan comes from nowhere YEAH!!! AND IF THE PEANUT OF DOOM WRITES MORE, THEN YOU GET TO SEE HOW I TORTURE DEIDARA!!! thinks about how fun it'll be._

HIDAN!!! Stop. We want them to review, not give them a heart attack!!!

**Yes, Hidan. Don't kill them. Kill Deidara if you must, but not the readers.**

In case you were wondering, that was Hidan and Kakuzu. I'M NOT CRAZY!!! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE CRAZY HOUSE!!! NEVER!!!!


	2. Deidara is Soo Dead

**A/N:** I know the 1st chapter was SUPER short, and I'm sorry. I PROMISE to make them all longer from now on. ;-p

**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything. Not Naruto, the characters, or even my house. Kishimoto owns Naruto and the characters, and my parents own the house. But I _do_ own this story and the awesome music I listen to while I write it. XP

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**Hidan POV**

I walked into Deidara's room, and saw him look up at me in surprise, then shove something that looked oddly like wrapped presents under the bed he was sitting next to. When I only stood in the doorway, wondering what the hell he had just shoved under the bed, and why he had done it, when he jumped up looking creepily happy, even for him.

"HI, HIDAN-CHAN!" he sang in a way too high pitched voice.

"Hey, bastard." As soon as I said it I got the pleasure of seeing his happy level go down about 500 god-damned degrees. Now he was looking at me as if I had just run over his puppy. Or sacrificed it to Jashin-sama.

"Well aren't we nice today, un?! If you're just gonna stand there and insult me, maybe you'd like a few explosions in your face, un."

"Fine by me. All I'm looking for is my rosary. Seen it anywhere? Kakuzu said you had it. Well? HEY! What the hell?!"

Suddenly Deidara looked up to see me. He looked fuckin' freaked out. "What the fuck was that about?! Going crazy or something?"

"N-n-n-no. I'm fine. Un. Really, un. Just a little spacey, I guess."

"Then what the fuck did you just shove under your fucking bed?"

"Nothing. Just some presents for… uh… ITACHI! Yeah. That's it, un. They're all for Itachi-san, un."

Seriously! Did he think I was mentally retarded, or something?! Seriously.

"I know it was something. Just tell me if you've seen my rosary or not, so I can either spill your guts to get to it, or leave this fucking trash heap and get it from whoever the dead bastard is who took it."

That got Deidara out of his zombie mode. Suddenly he was freaked out. He went to check that the presents or whatever were still under the bed. After he made sure they were still there he said, "Sorry, Hidan, but not right now, un. I've gotta finish wrapping… Itachi's presents, un. Tobi! Come here!"

Then Tobi popped out of nowhere and came into the room. I was about to leave when Deidara suddenly asked about my rosary.

"Tobi, have you been a bad boy, un?"

"No. I was just planting flowers outside to make our garden prettier. Why do you ask, Deidara-sempai?"

"Hidan's lost his rosary. Go help hi-"

"OH HELL NO! THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE DUMPING THIS FUCKING _THING_ ON ME! Get Zetsu to take him. 'Cuz I sure as hell won't take him."

If he thought he'd be able to dump him on me…. Well, there's no way that'll _ever_ happen. Even if I have to sacrifice one or both of them to stop it.

What the fuck was that all about?! I mean, seriously! Trying to pass that fucking bastard onto me, that son of a bitch. I swear, one day, I'm gonna have to sacrifice him to Jashin-sama.…

"HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL?! SERIOUSLY! YOU PRACTICALLY GAVE ME A FUCKING HEART ATTACK!!!" It was the Uchiha.

"I heard my name and came to see why some one was talking to me." Damn it! Since when does he care when people talk about him? I bet he was just doing this to piss me off more than I already was. Which is pretty fucking hard, considering how fucking pissed I was already.

"Hidan-san. It's not nice to swear." Sharky. Of course he was with Uchiha. It shouldn't surprise me anymore, except for the unimaginable hatred and boredom I feel from Uchiha.

"Shut it, Sharky. I'm looking for my rosary. You bastards seen it?." Like they give a damn about my rosary, or me, but it couldn't help to ask.

"Hey, hey. Don't want to get Itachi-san mad, do you? But if you really have a death wish _that_ strong, by all means, keep talking like that." He started grinning, like he meant exactly the opposite of what he said. And after hearing all that shit about how sadistic he was, I wasn't altogether too worried by it.

"Why the hell would we know where you're god-damned rosary is?" Seriously, if that kid didn't quit talking in that fucking annoying monotone, he might just lose an arm… or his life….

"Kisame, let's go. Now."

"Ok, Itachi-san. Where do you think the kyuubi is now?" those bastards, I was _sure_ they at least knew _who_ has my rosary, but they were too fucking stuck-up to give a damn either way.

Note to self… Kill Uchiha soon, or at least sacrifice the shark…

To my surprise, the next person was someone I _never_ expected to see around the headquarters. Our own god-damned "angel". Although I'd never met an angel, I was pretty sure they weren't supposed to have studs going through their lips, or kill people for a living. At least not in whatever heaven she believed in. I'm sure Jashin-sama would love have couple of bad-ass chicks like her around to kill his enemies.

Either way, I was looking for my rosary, so far I'd only run into fucking retards today, and then Kakuzu…. Well, I guess he's a retard too, but I said it out loud I'd probably be killed…

So I turned around to ask.

"I heard you're looking for your rosary."

She knew where it was, and by the sound of her voice, she either didn't know where it was, or didn't care. I guessed it was more the second, but both were still likely.

"Yeah. I am." And with that, I left. Because, face it. She's creepy.

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YAY!!! I'm done with this chapter!!! And surprisingly quickly, for me. But it's still pretty fun writing this stuff. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can. Probably within a week.

I STILL NEED REVIWS!!! Seriously! It may not seem like much to you, but they really do help me write. And even if you don't like it much, if you say something I can make it better so you do like it.

THANKS!!!


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